


I'm with you till the end of the line (if you want me to)

by KaskardenFluvia



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It, M/M, Post-Canon, they are a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 05:23:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18732448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaskardenFluvia/pseuds/KaskardenFluvia
Summary: ENDGAME SPOILERSBucky was tired of the empty space following him around ever since Steve left, the constant reminder that he was gone, that he had left him behind to deal with this world on his own. Sometimes he hated him for it.





	I'm with you till the end of the line (if you want me to)

**Author's Note:**

> I saw Avenger's Endgame and while I liked the movie I despised this particular part of the ending. So here is my attempt at fixing it, while also showing why I despise the ending.

Bucky was tired. Tired of the memories that kept haunting him, making him toss and turn for hours until he finally fell asleep and tired of the nightmares that eventually shook him away again.

He was tired of the empty space following him around ever since Steve left, the constant reminder that he was _gone_ , that he had left him behind to deal with this world on his own. Sometimes he hated him for it.

But he knew that was unfair. Steve didn’t know after all. He didn’t know that it was him that had kept Bucky alive all these years, even more so after he had finally broken free of Hydra’s conditioning. Steve didn’t know that despite all the support Bucky had gotten from the other Avengers, _his_ was the only on that really mattered, that Steve was the only thing that had kept him from ending it all.

Maybe it was Bucky’s fault for not telling him.

He sighed, pushing the thin blanket away and swung his legs out of bed, knowing fully well that he wouldn’t get sleep tonight. He shuffled over to the dark kitchen, not bothering to turn on the light and poured himself a glass of tap water.

“Bucky.” A familiar voice drifted through the darkness and his right hand started to tremble, his metal arm lying detached in his bedroom. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down again.

“Bucky.”

He closed his eyes, biting down on his lip and cursing his mind and the cruel tricks it tried playing on him. He opened his eyes again and turned slowly, glass still in hand.

A second later the sound of breaking glass and water splashing filled the kitchen, as Bucky scrambled for his phone lying on the kitchen table, scrolling through the contacts frantically, his vision blurry.

“Bucky, it’s me.”

He damn near dropped his phone as well when he felt warm fingers closing around his wrist, but he just froze, holding his breath as he stared at the dark figure in front of him.

“Steve?” He whispered, releasing the air he had trapped in his lungs. A million questions where swirling through his mind, but they all condensed into one single word. “Why?”

There was a moment of silence, the blood rushing through his ears unbelievably loud.

“I couldn’t do it.” Steve answered finally, his grip tightening. “I couldn’t leave you behind like this.”

Bucky wrenched his arm free again and took a step back.

“But you did.”

He hit the light switch above the counter, a thin strip of LEDs illuminating Steve with its cold, harsh light. Bucky leaned down and started to collect the broken pieces of glass littering the floor, glistening in the light.

“Let me help you.” Steve said and stepped forward.

“I can do this on my own.” Bucky snapped, dumping the shards into the garbage can. He took out the dustpan and started sweeping the smaller shards onto it.

“I’m sorry. It took me way too long to realise what I had done.” Steve muttered and Bucky glanced up at him.

“How long?” He asked as he straightened again. Steve turned away, avoiding eye contact.

“A few weeks. About as much time as has passed since I left.”

“Why didn’t you return to the set time?”

“Because that would have felt like lying. You didn’t deserve that.” Now he was looking at him again, his eyes pleading.

“But I deserved being left behind?” Bucky asked, pressing his lips into a tight line. Steve’s mouth opened.

“That’s not what I said!” He exclaimed, taking a step towards him, reaching for him again.

“Well that’s what it sounds like.” Bucky responded, backing away and crossing his arm over his chest. Steve let his hand fall back to his side.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Buck. I’m sorry.” He said quietly and Bucky had to turn away from him, he couldn’t stand to see the tears welling up in Steve’s eyes.

“Then why did you leave?” He asked after a long, tense moment of silence and he heard Steve sigh.

“Because I thought you would be alright. You said so yourself. And you’re a good liar.”

Bucky snapped his head around at this, feeling anger boiling in his chest.

“Don’t make this about _me_ , Steve.” He growled, taking a step forward. “Why did _you_ leave?”

Steve seemed taken aback by his sudden outburst of anger, stumbling backwards until his back hit the wall. His hands were trembling at his sides.

“Because- “ He paused, taking a deep breath. “Because I was selfish, is that what you wanted to hear? I thought I knew what I wanted, but…”He trailed off, giving him a helpless shrug. His eyes were still brimming with tears.

“Well, what do you want, Steve? Forgiveness?” Bucky huffed and let out a humourless laugh. “I’m not going to _forgive_ you. Can you even imagine how hard these last few weeks have been for me? How close I came to just ending it all?” He angrily blinked the tears filling his own eyes away.

Steve shook his head slightly in response, looking down at his feet, like a kid that had been caught breaking something.

“You left me behind, breaking _every_ promise you ever made to me. Did you really think that I was going to be alright with that?” He strained to keep himself from shouting, not wanting to wake up his neighbours. “Or was that just a lie you told yourself to make you feel better?”

“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.” Steve said quietly.

“You’re right. Even _I_ deserve better than this.” He said, straightening himself and holding his chin up.

“I know, Buck, I know.” Steve muttered, before looking back up at him again, finally meeting his eyes. “I know I fucked up. I know that I’m way, _way_ past asking for forgiveness. Which is why I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’m just asking you to give me a second chance.”

Bucky felt all of his anger faltering at Steve’s words and the pleading look on his face as he stepped closer, hands turned upwards, reaching for him but stopping halfway.

“I’m with you till the end of the line, if you want me to.”

A second chance. Not forgiveness, but _a second chance_. How could Bucky deny him that, after all the second chances Steve had given him? How could he deny him, when Steve was so openly admitting to his mistakes?

He simply couldn’t, because as hard as the last few weeks might have been, the thought of turning Steve away now that he had come back was unimaginable. Not when he was offering to fill the empty space in Bucky’s life again, giving him a chance at happiness.

“You’re such an idiot, you know that?” Bucky choked out and stepped forward, collapsing against Steve’s chest and then he just cried, tears quickly soaking Steve’s sweater. Steve took him in his arms, holding him to his chest tightly, resting his chin on his head.

“Don’t you ever dare leaving me again, Steve Rogers.” Bucky mumbled into his chest, his hand holding onto the back of Steve’s shirt.

“I won’t.” Steve whispered and Bucky felt him pressing a soft kiss to his temple. “I promise I won’t.”

Bucky was content to believe him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native English speaker so if there are any mistakes, please let me know.   
> Hope you enjoyed this!


End file.
